This certainly isn't always the case, and I've actually had a holiday exceeding of my hopes and expectations, but overall, holidays have the potential to breed some of the most dreadful hangovers.  And although the likes of sweet and sour cocktails and seven toasts from Uncle Jim don’t help the alcoholically induced kind, those aren’t the ones I’m talking about.

I’m talking about anticipation hangovers, or the kind where high-hopes drown in deeper despairs. Or deep needs are slapped with another flimsy band-aid.

Holidays are of the greatest feat and feast of anticipation, and thus, expectation. No matter what the age, they tend toward romanticized rapports of familiar songs around the fireplace and a company of ease. But tend to slam hard into overcooked shots of reality. Conversations are far less fulfilling than hoped for, and fiery jabs at decades past never blow out. Thus, servings of frustration and insecurity have indulged themselves mightily before most have ever sat down for the so-called holiday meal. Deep-rooted pains growl, as nestled states of expectation are rudely awakened by reality. So we shut down, concluding that our stories suck, dreams are a hoax and life will never change. We pass the remaining time with small talk and the sweetness of apple pie, staring at the clock as our only saving grace. And then it’s over.

Full in our most temporary of senses, and empty in our deepest, we say goodbye. We say, “Thanks for such a lovely evening—can’t wait till next year,” while deep down we cry for nourishment, or for the romanticized story of our neighbor, or for sense to our streaming tears.

In the words of Henri Nouwen, “Your pain, deep as it is, is connected with specific circumstances. You do not suffer in the abstract. You suffer because someone hurts you at a specific time and in a specific place. Your feelings of rejection, abandonment, and uselessness are rooted in the most concrete events. In this way all suffering is unique. This is eminently true of the suffering of Jesus. His disciples left him, Pilate condemned him, Roman Soldiers tortured and crucified him. Still, as long as you keep pointing to the specifics, you will miss the full meaning of your pain. You will deceive yourself into believing that if the people, circumstances, and events had been different, your pain would not exist. This might be partly true, but the deeper truth is that the situation which brought about your pain was simply the form in which came in touch with the human condition of suffering. Your pain is the concrete way in which you participate in the pain of humanity.”

Thus, be gentle on yourself today. Let yourself be hung-over. Let yourself be weak and young and pained, but do so in presence of Jesus. Do so in the lap of God, even, if such a posture doesn’t alarm you. Tell him about your pain and ask him of your road healing. Tell him what you'd wanted and what you didn't want to happen. And wait with him in these vacancies.

God knows the wealth of nourishment and He knows the sorrowful cauldrons of neglect. He knows hangover states of suffering and He knows the way suffering is resurrected. So be hung-over with Christ today. Let your hurt nestle with his, and your hunger feast with his care.