I've been going back through some old notes over the last few weeks, and I ran across this list I at one time put together (I think it was from various sources, but may have come out of a particular lecture...sorry not to have better footnotes).  It was meant to be guidelines for spiritual directors, but I wonder if some of these transfer over into our daily interactions with each other.  What would it mean to listen to each other in this way, with God's heart continually before us?  What do you think?  Over the top? Impossible? Freeing?  It is a good reminder that we are all works in progress, and that God will continue to uncover our own weakness and growth edges for the rest of our lives.  I am so glad that we are surrounded by his grace and mercy.

The director should approach a one-to-one session prepared in specific ways:

Through prayer, anticipate receiving the person as one for whom Christ died.

Become aware of any personal bias or partiality that might operate in this particular situation, such as gender, ethnicity, or appearance, Be aware of how the directee's issues or situation might parallel your own, triggering your own unresolved tensions.  Be attentive to anything that might lead you to favour a particular outcome over what God might want to do or say.

Be in touch with your own temptations, foibles, and sins of the past, so that nothing shared is likely to surprise, offend, tempt, shock or undo you.

Come to each session having dealt sufficiently (to the extent you are aware) with your own ego needs so that you feel no need to be a "saviour."  Be content rather to be a conduit, a transparency, a means, a secondary participant, even an observer in what will happen.

Concern yourself more with long-range outcomes than short-term coping.  Be willing to provide ongoing support in which accountability is clear, concrete, and manageable.

Believe profoundly in the power of the Holy Spirit to bring discernment, strengthen possibilities, change lives, and provide significant direction--and ask for it.